“Warm” vs “Cold” Networking
“Networking” seems to be one of those buzzwords that everyone uses and nobody can properly define, which I find extremely annoying. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and maybe I can help offer some clarity. I’m starting to think that there might be two types of networking, which I’m going to refer to as “warm networking” and “cold networking”. If you’re familiar with the idea of “warm contacts” vs “cold contacts”, that’s where I’m borrowing this terminology from.
A warm contact is someone you already have some sort of pre-existing link with: maybe you have a mutual friend, or you went to school together, or you’ve met them before in passing. There are typically at most one or two degrees of separation between you and a warm contact; either you’ve met before, or you’re aware of each other, or there is a person both of you know very well. A cold contact is someone you have zero prior relationship or connection with. When you contact them, they will likely have no idea who you are. If you’re sending someone a cold email, they’re a cold contact.
I think it’s completely natural to extend this idea of “warm contacts” vs “cold contacts” to networking in general. What to me defines cold networking is any activity that primarily involves trying to initiate relationships with cold contacts who aren’t your peers. These include attending most so-called “networking events”, going to job fairs, attending certain types of conferences, going to corporate parties as a relatively junior person in an organization, sending cold emails, and so on. There tends to also be a palpable sense of power imbalance involved. When you’re at a career fair, you are usually one of many people trying to get a job. If you’re a junior person at a corporate event, you might be trying to meet people with more seniority. If you’re cold emailing someone, it’s usually because they have something that you want. This type of networking is usually more stressful and emotionally charged because you want to make a good impression and you might burn bridges if you mess up.
Warm networking, on the other hand, is a lot more low-key. This obviously includes getting to know people you already have some kind of preexisting link with. However, to this category I would also add any activity that allows you to get to know new people in a context where you’re (more or less) on an even footing. It might overtly feel like networking: for example, you might be participating in a speed-friending activity in your organization where you get matched with a group of people at random. This evens out the power imbalances, because anyone has an equal chance of being matched with anyone else. Or it might be a networking event specifically for people at your level, which is a lot less intimidating because you don’t need to prove yourself when talking to your peers. But usually, warm networking doesn’t really feel like networking, and it often doesn’t happen at networking events. It’s things like having lunch with colleagues or joining student clubs or interacting on social media or joining a sports league and making acquaintances that may or may not be professional in nature. A better term for it is “being social”.
When most people say they’re “bad at networking”, what they usually mean is that they’re bad at cold networking. When we hear the word “networking”, that’s what we think of – terrifying corporate events with dozens or hundreds of people where you don’t know how to act or if you should talk to anyone, job fairs where you’re one of a gazillion people walking around with résumé printouts, or cold emails that take you hours to write and proofread and another week to send because you’re terrified of saying the wrong thing. It seems to me like there are a very small subset of people who are actually comfortable doing things like this, because it is awkward and it feels transactional. In fact, I tend to avoid doing it unless it explicitly is transactional – that is, I tend not to cold email people senior to me unless I have a very specific ask. Then, the person knows I want something and can make an informed decision to accept or decline the request.